Christmas Angels do Exist
This post is really personal, it opens up a lot about me. I am a bit shy to share it, but my guarding angel and god deserve the recognition. The story starts with some ugly essential background setting details, please read through it. The amazing miracle comes up a little later on.
We won’t be defined by it, but my sons and I were severely abused for many years. Finally in 1991 I managed to get the boys and I into hiding. With three little boys, two coats and a piece of junk car; we managed to run away and hide just before Halloween.
I got the court orders for custody, the oh so useless restraining orders and three little boys 11, 10 and 7 who wanted to go trick and treating.
Almost to the end of the Ugly Background Story
My ex is conniving enough to volunteer to work for a Loomis distributor on his holidays. It seemed so silly, I was not able to figure out his motivation. One day out of no where he calmly asked if I wondered why he worked his vacation for free. “I did it to learn exactly where the safe house is. I delivered there today, if you run there I will know exactly where the boys are and how to get to them.”
He kept me in line with death threats on my sons, it was both very effective and very real. When I talked to the crown counsel, they hid us in a neighbouring small town where my ex didn’t know the location of the safe house. Calling my Mom I explained we are safer than we had been in a long time, that the boys were with me and she would not hear from me for awhile. But please not to worry we were safe and staying safe. Click. No one knew where we were.
Now lets get to the happy part.
In the new city, the agency with the safe house gave me a job next door. It was a split shift that allowed me to go pick the boys up and drop them off from school in a company car. I was so to the bone terrified, especially for my eldest son as he was the main target.
You can only give little boys so much information and they were so determined to go trick and treating. Bribes of free candy from Mom was not cutting it.
Then the miracle happened.
The Mizpah safe house allowed me to have the biggest room and moved all the boys beds into one room so I knew where they were. Our security was in each other, life was better when we were all together. I was sitting on the bed visiting with the boys and sewing salvation army pantyhose to a bodysuit for a spider costume and feeling glad to be there.
This massive wide warm hand pressed me on the shoulder. “It’s going to be okay”, he said. “You and the boys are safe.” Startled I looked around and saw no one, but the hand remained with me. The pressure and warmth of the hand stayed with me. I could FEEL it.
The day of Halloween I prayed and told God how terrified I was, that the boys had lost so much, how they wanted to go out, but I needed them safe. The angel with the hand told me, ” You won’t see me and other people won’t see me Leanna, but if there is danger for you and your boys I will appear. I promise my appearance will frighten anyone away who tries to harm you.”
I had such a strong feeling of comfort and security that my fear actually lifted.
I took the boys out trick or treating, my angel squeezing my shoulder. They got their candy and had as normal a Halloween as they could have given the circumstances. My terror disappeared, poof gone, because I felt I had serious back up. I was cautious, still am, but no longer terrified.
I will skip the ugly court battles, the criminal court nightmare and all the rest of it. Lets just say my angel hung out pretty close to me for about two years. Although I felt him, I never saw him. The boys knew about our angel, but only my youngest who was 7 ever mentioned seeing him.
Moving on to the Christmas portion of the story.
I was working in another city, still hiding but on the path to my tomorrows, I had a job, had bought the boys beds, they were in a Catholic School that knew the history and really protected them. Life was a whole lot better.
I had gotten a tree, one string of lights and just like the movies the boys and I had decorated it with popcorn garland and home made whatevers. We had a turkey, presents for them, we had no table but we had a plastic Christmas table cloth to do a picnic style dinner. We were covered, with the exception of a tree top. Try as I might I could not locate one I could afford and I absolutely had less than $5.00. It had all went to the festivities. I bothered me but I had to let it go, priorities right?
I worked for persons with disabilities and the community had donated all kinds of things for our Christmas party door prizes. They were first aid kits, flash flights, gloves, a car jack and one angel tree top .
Each table had one lucky winner. You turned over your paper dinner plate, if you had a number written on the bottom of your plate, you won the coordinating numbered prize.
It wouldn’t be an amazing life altering Christmas story otherwise, but I did turn my plate over, I did win and it did coordinate with the Christmas Angel tree top. I was so excited, I knew god and my angel had worked a miracle.
Tears still come every time I think about my drive home that night. In the quiet I realized that the tree angel was a message. I pulled over, crying and begging him not to go and leave me. The voice came back saying ” I will come if needed Leanna, but you don’t need me all the time anymore. It’s going to be okay. Others need me with my special gifts more than you do now.”
Today I know how blessed and lucky I was to have the experience but on that drive I was so desperate for him to stay with us. To give me his strength and protection.
The last time I was really aware of him was about 14 years ago, I was singing and dancing in my bedroom all by myself (yes I am a geek ). I felt a wing brush across my face. I exclaimed “Oh my god your here”, he danced to Muddy Waters with me. I never felt the hand, he was different this time. I didn’t see him or hear him, he came to me as a feathered wing brushing across my face. But he was there.
My Christmas tree angel is 25 years old now. I treasure her beyond measure and so do my boys. She still lights up and will be my tree top always.
Angels exist I promise you they do, the strength of his presence was strong enough I had no worry betting my children’s lives on it.
Here’s the tree top I have to remind me of God and my angel’s love every year.